Have you noticed this strange malady which seems to be affecting just about everybody in what might be called the communications media these days? This appears on everything from magazine covers to TV sports coverage and manifests itself as a craze for showing a greatly enlarged view of a small part of something instead of a much more informative general view.
There are innumerable examples of this plague. One such is the TV coverage of motorsport where the camera tries to read the instruments on the dashboard when we would much rather see the line the car is taking through the corner or how close the following car is. Another is the way that TV cameras persist in giving you a close-up of a snooker players backside when we are all much more interested in where his balls are going.
A wonderful example of the disease has just appeared on TV during coverage of the Commonwealth Games. A high jumper who had just performed a personal best jump was seen to disappear below camera level followed by his feet flashing across the screen and then his head re-appearing back into shot. The commentator then loudly acclaimed him for a wonderful standing back summersult. If it was so good perhaps we should have been allowed to see it.
What has all this got to do with our favourite perversion/hobby you may ask? Well, when did you last see a magazine cover which showed a picture of the whole model? For all we know, that beautiful model may have just been subjected to a cartwheel landing which wiped off both wingtips and half the tail! Or, perhaps the rest of the model hasn't been built yet.
With magazines, the matter is made worse by covering up even more of the subject with multi-coloured graffiti. One is tempted to wonder why some magazines bother with a cover photo at all. Why not just have a plain cover which would give much more room for the graffiti?
One thing which I find particularly baffling is that, while it is permissible for the graffiti to overlap the subject of the picture, the actual name of the magazine is not allowed to do so! Where this might happen, the magazine logo is carefully sculpted so as to appear to pass behind the subject. There is obviously some strange convention at work here which is only known to a select few.
Curiously, magazines of American origin seem to suffer from the opposite syndrome. After being greeted by a vast expanse of blue sky, one becomes aware that there is a female humanoid in the centre of the shot. Closer examination reveals that she is holding a model! The caption usually states that the model (winged variety) is three years old and, as yet, unflown. No wonder it has both wingtips and a whole tail!
Assume for the moment that there is a keen modeller who earns his living as a policemen and lives in the Channel Isles. One day he is using instant glue and manages to accidentally glue his index finger to the tip of his nose.
Question: What is his name?
Answer: Cyano de Bergerac.
If you are inclined to travel around the country each weekend attending contests, fly-ins, fun-fly's, etc (well, it passes the time) you will be amazed at the number of variations on the basic pegboard theme that human ingenuity can contrive.
The clubs to which I have belonged have all used what might be called the 'standard' system whereby there is one peg for each frequency and you must be in possession of it to switch on your transmitter. This is not infallible and there have been several stories of how it can be misinterpreted - which we may cover some other time - but it seems to offer the best compromise of safety and convenience.
Another system insists that each flyer must provide his own peg and this is placed on the pegboard at the appropriate position to indicate that he is using that frequency. Obviously, there can only be one peg of that frequency on the board at any one time. There are advantages to this arrangement too but that is also something for another time.
At a couple of recent helicopter meetings I have come across another system, the logic of which, I must admit, defies me. When your transmitter is booked into control you are allocated a number and two tickets are made out with that number on them. One ticket is attached to your transmitter and the other is handed to you.
When you wish to fly, assuming that the frequency you want is not in use, you exchange your ticket for your transmitter and the ticket is attached to a pegboard by placing it under the appropriate peg. Note that the peg itself remains on the board at all times. This means that you now have your transmitter and can switch it on yet you have no proof that the frequency is yours or that no-one else is using it. The only record of the situation is at the transmitter pound - which may be some way from the flying area.
It is possible to visualise a situation where two, or more, transmitters are out on the field with their operators blissfully unaware of the situation and assuming that he has exclusive use of a particular radio channel. After all, if he does not have his ticket then it must be tucked under the peg on the board! One of the meetings concerned had an event which was started very late in the day after many transmitters had been removed from the pound by people going home. The result was total chaos with at least one competitor using a frequency which was also in use by someone else - who had a legally booked out transmitter!
If a conventional system had been in use there could have been no confusion and a possibly very dangerous situation could have been averted. Surely we take enough risks without asking for trouble.
There was a young man of Uppingham
who stood on a field north of Buckingham
watching the sights
of the flights of the kites
and the shouts of the louts that was chucking 'em.